Posts Tagged parenting

Leif is such a Lucky Baby!

12 June 2012

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Things I say to my Oldest Son Daily

23 December 2011

Gentle!
Do not jump on the baby
Do not tackle the baby
Do not hurt him
Do not pull on him when he’s in Mommy’s arms
Please do not bite the baby
Please do not kick the baby
Please do not hit the baby
Please do not shake him
Please do not jump on the bed
Please do not jump on the furniture
Please do not jump off the furniture
Please do not jump from one piece of furniture to another
Please do not climb up onto the back of the couch
Please do not jump off the back of said couch
Control yourself

Good idea!
Good observation, Scientist
You are so smart
I’m so glad I have you to help me
Thank you for listening
You are so funny
I love you

This is what it’s like to be mother to a very lively, smart, creative, little 4-year-old

Potty Training!

7 June 2010

I’m excited to report that we finally got our little man out of diapers. This was a transition I’d been dreading because it seemed so hard, so I’m very excited that we actually did it! I read this wonderful book, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day and I thought the methods in that book were really helpful. It definitely took us more than a day, though. We didn’t do everything precisely the way the book called for, and our child isn’t quite as perfectly compliant as the book describes, either. But lucky for us, within about a week we were at a point where we could leave the house in big-boy underpants.

When I first started, I had a really bad attitude. I didn’t want to do this. It sounded really hard. I had a serious lack of energy between school and morning sickness and I was just at the verge of getting VERY sick. And on top of all that, everyone says that once you start potty training, you can’t go back. That was very intimidating. I think I was doing it partially because I saw that many of his little friends were potty trained and I felt pressured. I did believe he was ready, but I wasn’t ready. But I gave it a shot. I tried the methods in the book and they semi-worked. It was exhausting. He peed on the floor while I was throwing up once. He peed on the carpet a few times. But he did start to understand the routine. It finally got so hard that I gave myself a pass. I was sick. I was in school. We don’t have to do this right now. I gave myself about a month until graduation was over and said I’d try again then if I felt better. Screw this idea of you can’t go back. I must be willing to own up to my misjudgments. We’re going back to diapers.

Well, right on time, the day after graduation I was feeling better, and feeling excited about moving on with my life. But I was still exhausted from a long weekend. I said to Andy that morning, “I don’t want to potty train today. I’m too tired. We’ll start tomorrow.” Then I went into the bedroom to get him a diaper and remembered– most of his diapers were falling apart. Finding one that’s in good enough shape to wear is kinda hard. So much easier to just put underwear on him. So we did it! Potty training went great that day and we continued on. He did a lot better and I did a whole lot better!

Like I said, within a week he had made quite significant progress. He still had occasional accidents, but the biggest problem was that he still wouldn’t tell us when he had to go. But we would put him on the potty regularly and he would go. Then all of a sudden this weekend, he just started telling us. Over the past few days he has told us many times that he has to go, and sometimes he even beats us to the bathroom. He can do most of the work himself– pulling his pants down and everything. But he still of course requires supervision.

This process has been such a wonderful parenting adventure. I had to grease up my old parenting skills of being really in-tune with his signs and cues, following my instincts, and balancing sensitivity for him with my own knowledge of what is best for him. The biggest lesson I learned, though, was to always own up to my mistakes and misjudgments and that Peer will respond best when MY attitude is right.

A Sobering Blog

1 June 2010

Today I hugged and kissed my little one more than usual and showered him with “I-love-yous” and spoiled him perhaps a little too much. Today I didn’t care about the minor imperfections that often bug me or about the smallish concerns about my parenting ability. Today I simply celebrated the fact that my little boy is alive, is healthy, and that we can spend our days together.

Last night I had a dream that Henry Granju, the teenage son of a popular blogger mom I follow had died. The dream was so vivid, and I was so sad and couldn’t believe this was happening. When I checked my email this morning, I found out that it was all true. This didn’t come out of nowhere– Henry had suffered a horrible brain injury as a result of the combination of a drug overdose and a cruel assault all within the same incident. I knew that although he had experienced some improvement, he recently had taken a turn for the worse and his life was in serious jeopardy. So he must have been on my mind… or perhaps it was a sixth sense that I occasionally do have. Either way, his death has really affected me.

It seems silly, really, to be so affected by this young man’s tragic death. I don’t know him, his mother, or their family. I read her book, Attachment Parenting, when Peer was a baby and liked it. I googled her and started following her blogs and on facebook. She never came out about her son’s addiction until very recently, after his injury. While the tragedy of his injury and death would be equally as haunting even if I had read it as a tiny blurb in a newspaper, it has been very moving to read about the whole thing through the eyes of his mother. She tells stories about his life, his childhood and her efforts to help save him from his addiction. She talks about her feelings of guilt and inadequacy, her fears of judgment from other parents, and that those other parents might be right. She has given both medical information about his condition, and explored her anger at God for the horror that is happening to her son.

It’s all been very moving for me. Maybe because I watched it all unfold daily. Or maybe because I identify with this mom. In some ways, she seems like a lot like me in maybe 15 or 20 years. She is passionate about parenting and we share a similar parenting style. Or maybe because if this could happen to her, then it could happen to anyone– even our family. She has tried so hard to help her son, to guide him, prevent him, discipline him, do anything to prevent this from happening. She is a very good mom. But this still happened to her. It reminds me of cheesy sentiments that carry a lot of truth. Like how these things can happen to anyone, or that every day is a gift and you should cherish every moment with your children. Or how I must be the best mom I can possibly be and leave the rest up to God. And also that every druggie out there is not just a druggie. Even though many people who OD in essence do this to themselves (excepting, of course, in this case where the OD was coupled with an assault by horrible people that need to be brought to justice), they still have a mother who loves them and would do anything for them, even take the blame herself.

Rest in Peace, Henry Louis Granju (1991-2010), and may God comfort those whom you have left behind.